Wednesday, July 24, 2019

The DNC Answers My Questions


I submitted a list of questions to the Democratic National Committee, and to my great surprise they were kind enough to respond. Below are the questions I asked along with the answers I received.
Q: What nation do Democrats view as being the biggest threat to U.S. Interests?
A: Russia

Q: What will be the main focus of the Democratic Party in the 2020 elections?
A: Russia

Q: What are the perceived weak spots of President Trump you are hoping to be able to exploit?
A: Russia

Q: What response do you have to critics who claim the Democratic Party works not for the people but for corporations?
A: Russia

Q: Should the Democrats manage to win both houses of Congress AND the presidency, what bold plan do they have in place for combatting climate change?
A: We would immediately work to have Trump’s tax returns released to the public. Also, we would call for new investigations into Trump’s hampering of the Mueller investigation into Russian interference. Lastly, we would change the name of Russian Dressing to Freedom Dressing.

Q: What is your ideal approach to providing health care?
A: It is our goal to make sure everyone has access to health care insurance whether they can afford it or not. If you want to keep the insurance you now have that will drop you like a hot potato the moment you get sick, you can. Also, Russia.

Q: There are some who are worried that you might cheat Bernie Sanders again. What do you have to say to these people?
A: Russia hacked the election.

Q: Are you at all worried that Saudi Arabia and Israel have an undue influence on our political process?
A: Yes, we are very concerned that Russia might interfere with our election.

Q: The last two Republican presidents won office not by winning the popular vote—they lost it—but because of the Electoral College. Having you considered doing away with the Electoral College since it is an outmoded tool for electing presidents?
A: We need to keep the Electoral College. It is an essential protection of our election process should a clearly incompetent candidate sweep to office on uninformed populist sentiment, as well as a way of safeguarding our democracy from foreign meddling.

Q: For two and a half years, Democrats have been insisting Trump is a traitor who is being controlled by a foreign power, and yet the Democrats have chosen not to impeach him. Why is that?
A: We are very concerned that Trump is being controlled by Russia. Our initial response was to seek impeachment in order to hopefully remove this traitor to our nation from office. But then we thought, “What if this is just what Putin wants?” So we’ve decided to take a different approach, something that neither Putin—nor anyone else—would see coming. We’ve decided to run an unlikeable and untrustworthy centrist against Trump. Didn’t see it coming, did you? We’re putting all our chips on this strategy.

Q: Do you have any last thoughts to leave to the American people?
A: Yes. In 2016, Russia bombed Pearl Harbor by placing a picture of Bernie Sanders in a speedo on social media. This election cycle, things could get even worse. If you can imagine it. Just remember that any report of a Democratic candidate possessing any flaw was likely penned by the hand of Vladimir Putin himself, and passed on to twisted, inhuman Bernie Trolls who live in their parents basement because they are loser misogynists who don’t like black people. We must be very, very, careful of propaganda. Russian Propaganda. It is a tool to sew discord and get you to hate your fellow Americans. The only way to avoid this is by pledging your unquestioning loyalty to the party and by closing your mind to any dissenting opinions. Only in this way can we hope to preserve our democracy.


Monday, July 15, 2019

Nature Can Sometimes Be Cruel, Capitalism Always Is

Nature can be quite unforgiving. When life and death are on the line, nature will grant you no extra chances, show no pity, make no exceptions. Nature can be cold, uncaring, indifferent to your survival. At such moments, people have to put aside excuses, realize there is no point in asking for pity, and do whatever they have to in order to survive. Because nature simply does not respond to our wish for a kinder, gentler, world. Nature can often be a jerk.

It is for this reason that humans have created societies and civilizations, in order to provide some sort of cushion against unyielding, unforgiving, uncaring nature. Sure, being tough and sucking it up is one way of dealing with the harshness of nature, but there are a lot easier, less taxing ways of surviving. It may be manly to learn how to sleep in an igloo or eat squirrel, but it’s a lot more fun to be civilized and sleep on a nice warm bed in a climate-controlled house. The civilization we’ve created offers many perks such as this.

But nature is not always heartless. In fact, nature often gives humans—and all other species— wondrous blessings from her bounty. Primitive humans were as likely to come across a field of berries or a grove of apple trees as they were to come across a period of hunger. They were as likely to be blessed with more food than they could hope to eat as they were to go without. Indeed, any primitive human being would have had frequent instances when they were blessed by the generosity of nature: a time when the river ran thick with salmon, the fields rumbled with the hooves of bison, the boughs of trees hung low from the amount of fruit they bore.

For primitive man, all that nature gave, it gave for free. Though effort was sometimes required to harvest or prepare what was given, no price was placed upon what nature gave. Primitive houses might need to be built, but there was no charge for the lumber. Water might have to be carried from one place to another, but nobody had to go into debt to acquire essentials.

And when it came to the non-necessities, those things we do not need but which make life truly beautiful, nature gave without asking for anything in return. A person in nature did not have to pay to go to the beach, nor were beaches deprived them because they were not in possession of a piece of paper proving ownership of said stretch of waterfront property. Man could wander where he would without paying tolls, could sleep where he wished without paying rent, could eat what he wanted without having to pay for the privilege. Camping out beneath the stars and hanging around the campfire did not require a park permit or a lot site.

Nevertheless, man realized he could purchase an insurance policy of sorts against nature by creating societies and civilizations, and in so doing, reduce the risks of being eaten by a cougar or being undone by a failed crop. By working together, humanity could absorb the overall costs that would sometimes be too much for individuals and smaller groups. Groups in areas experiencing the excess nature often provides would be able to share from their excess with those experiencing a drought or other misfortune. When this is working well, humanity is able to thrive.

But somehow it is going all wrong. While society is still capable of providing wealth and comfort for many, it not only does not give freely, it no longer allows nature to do so. Visit any place where great populations of humans are assembled together, and you will soon find that nothing is available without cost. Whereas nature was often quite generous in providing food, humanity has replaced that abundance with qualifiers. Yes, you can have all you care to eat, if you can give something in return. Otherwise, perhaps you will be able to find something in the garbage of others that will give you strength to live another day. Yes, you can sleep somewhere, but only if you can pay for the privilege. Otherwise, police will rouse you from your sleep upon the cold pavement and send you on your way. Yes, you can live wherever you like, if you can pay rent to those who have claimed ownership of the land that once belonged to no one. Your choices of beverages are virtually endless. If you can pay. Otherwise, even life-giving water is becoming something which society can no longer provide to all.

You see, capitalists have taken all of nature’s blessings, of God’s blessings, and claimed them for their own. Your very existence depends upon your ability to increase their wealth. Whether you live or die does not matter to them, only whether you can increase their bottom lines or not.

You are now living in an artificial world created by capitalists. Your connection to others and to the planet is dead. They want you to think that capitalism is a natural extension of nature. They are very big on reminding people about the natural law of survival of the fittest and how merciless nature can be, but they are quite mum when it comes to reminding you of how nature is often quite free with its gifts. No other species but our own is required to pay for what they acquire. Even today, there exist cultures living close to nature for whom such a capitalist system would appear quite unnatural.

The society we created in order to protect ourselves against the savageries of nature has now become feral as well. It has devolved from a way of allowing people to work together for the benefit of all into a jungle in which the strong prey upon the weak.

The lesson the capitalists would have you learn is that it is up to the parents to protect their children from the dangers the capitalist system thrusts upon them. It is the parents’ responsibility to shield their children from the vulgarity and immorality that passes for culture in a capitalist society. It is the parents’ responsibility to keep their children away from the unhealthy foods created by corporations, foods that are causing record obesity and diabetes in children. Short of kidnapping your children, the capitalist advertisers do everything in their power to insure your children spend their (your) money on things that are neither good for them nor for society. But the blame is all yours should they succeed.

But this is not the way our primitive ancestors would have dealt with this threat. They would have taught their children to stay away from danger, yes, but when there was a dangerous beast lurking nearby, they understood something had to be done about it. They set traps, or they hunted it down and killed it. Primitive man did not hesitate to neutralize a problem that threatened their children. Not so in a capitalist society. Children of a primitive culture were never threatened by the dangers of obesity, diabetes, corporate branding, and a host of other ills foisted upon them by corporate marketing. But the answer is always to blame the parent, never the corporations.

There are very few threats we face from nature, nowadays. Humanity has created technology that has allowed us to grow more food than we know what to do with, to provide shelter and clothing to all. The main threats to our children now are the ones created by us, by people looking to enrich themselves at the expense of others. Predatory capitalism is the most prevalent manifestation of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man. We must learn from our ancestors how to protect ourselves, our children, and our very species from the threat of such predation. We must create civil structures strong enough to defend against predators, and we must do whatever it takes to remove such threats from prowling around wherever our children, our elderly, and ourselves are potential prey.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Where's My Cut Of The Children's Detention Profits?


I have to admit, I have a problem with the way the Trump administration is handling the children of immigrants. Private corporations are charging $775 dollars a day to house just one child. It seems to me this is another outrageous example of crony capitalism. Allow the free market to work it’s magic, and the price to taxpayers will go way down. Let everybody place their bid and cut the small businessman in on the action, rather than letting President Trump’s buddies make all the money.

As for myself, I’ve been crunching numbers and I’m pretty sure I could do the job for $500 per child per day. It’s not like I have a big basement or anything, but I think I could shove a dozen or more of the little tykes down there, which would be a real boon to my personal income. And what helps me will be sure to trickle down into the local economy. It's not me I'm thinking of, you understand, it's my local shopkeeper, barber, masseuse. 

My wife usually comes home for lunch, so she could check on the little immies during the day to make sure they’re okay. And seeing how she works for a dentist, I’m sure she could snag a few toothbrushes and toothpaste from the office, so we’d be one up on the people doing the job now. And my wife only works a few blocks from home, so it’s not like we wouldn’t be able to respond to any emergency or attempted escape.

I’m sure there’d be some initial outlay, after all we’d need to pick up some steel fencing and some kind of surveillance system so we’d know what was going on while we were away. In order to make sure we'd recoup our investment, we'd  have to make some kind of agreement with the government to make sure we had a steady supply of immigrant children. That shouldn’t be a problem because the government already signs agreements with for-profit prisons to ensure that they’ll be booked solid. Investors have to protect against risk, after all.

I do have to say Donald Trump has let me down on this issue. I really thought he’d be looking out for the small businessman. This could be a golden moment for small-scale entrepreneurs to shine. 
Innovation takes place at the micro level, small business is the driver of the economy. This could be the cottage industry that could breath new life into the middle class. A friend of mine has shared with me images of her proposed child immigration holding pens she sent along with her bid to the White House: 





Hell, she was even planning on giving them real blankets, not that aluminum crap. Alas, they were rejected in favor of this:



Now tell me, which do you think is more humane? I think my friend’s plan looks downright homey in comparison. I've stayed in many an airbnb that was far less accommodating

I'm beginning to think the interests of the dis-empowered are not being fairly represented on this issue. The poor, beleaguered, hardworking small businessmen are once again being given short shrift. It's sad to say, but it appears Trump has forgotten where he came from, that success has caused him to forget what it was like to struggle to evict a single elderly woman from her home in order to build a casino. You've gone Washington on us, Donald.

Or perhaps, perhaps  Donald Trump is not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.