Monday, December 10, 2018

Some Questions For Russiagate Conspiracy Theorists


I understand the appeal of the Russiagate conspiracy to those who were crushed by Hillary Clinton’s loss in 2016. What I do not understand is the complete grasp it has had on their minds, so that they are no longer able or willing to question any of the ludicrous notions being fed to them by a complicit and compromised press. Oh, I know our intelligence agencies and think tanks are practiced in the art of propaganda, they’ve been doing it long enough. They were good enough to be able to get a skeptic like me to believe that Saddam Hussein had mobile chemical weapons labs that were moving about on trains. Seems so silly now, doesn’t it? But they were so certain! They told us there was no room to doubt. They were the authorities and we were just idiots. And we were idiots. For believing them. But I swore I’d never do it again.

Apparently you didn’t make the same oath I did. Or if you did, your desire to believe got the better of you. And they seem so damn certain! They know things and we don’t. We’re just idiots who are fortunate to have such selfless people looking out for our best interests. Why, you’d have to be a Putin puppet to doubt the official narrative.

But any healthy relationship requires a certain amount of open-mindedness. Anyone who insists you believe them and don’t ask questions is throwing up all kinds of warning signs. You would not want your daughter in that kind of relationship and I don’t want to see you in one either. So let me ask you a few questions. Remember, questions aren’t bad in an open, honest relationship. And if you are able to give answers beyond parroting what your abuser told you, I will be convinced he’s not such a bad guy after all.



1. What voice of authority would you respect more than Robert Mueller? Would you trust Ralph Nader more? Or perhaps Chris Hedges? Or Phil Donahue? Or Ron Paul? Would you be more inclined to trust someone who got the Iraq War narrative right rather than Mueller, who lied about the reasons for the Iraq War in front of congress (a crime he is currently prosecuting others for now)? Surely there must be someone you trust more than a man who lied us into a war that killed hundreds of thousands of people. If there is no one in the public eye you trust more than that, this must surely make you question the worth of our media and our political leaders, because that is a pretty low standard to meet.

2. How long are you willing to wait patiently and allow Mueller and others fight your fight while President Trump is left free to destroy everything you love about your country? Pretty long, apparently. Two years, apparently, and more yet to come. Is this the best means of opposing an alleged tyrant and traitor, a supposed fascist? I’m just going to throw out the suggestion that Adolph Hitler was never going to be deposed by the Gestapo. Intelligence agencies are not interested in saving democracy, they are interested in suppressing it.

3. How much more aggressive does the U.S. have to get towards Russia before you realize Trump is not doing Putin’s bidding? He’s thrown sanction after sanction at him, increased military spending, bombed Russia’s allies and killed Russians, armed fascists in Ukraine, withdrawn from missile treaties, and has assembled the creepiest group of war hawks ever assembled outside of a Stanley Kubrick film. What actual evidence supports the theory that Trump is working in Russia’s interests?

4. Will you ever stop putting your complete faith in the hands of anonymous sources from unaccountable intelligence agencies? Is this really all you require from a newspaper article, the words of unknown people with unknown agendas all the proof you need? Again, getting back to the healthy relationship comparison, you really should ask for a certain degree of respect in every relationship you are in and learn to spot the warning signs of an abuser.

5. Is there any evidence that will convince you that Russiagate is little more than a propaganda campaign meant to shift blame and force President Trump to conform to the pre-established agenda? What kind of proof would you need to be convinced? Thousands of poorly written articles whose mistakes slant a particular direction 100% of the time? Hundreds of stories that have had to been dialed back or else retracted altogether? Because mountains of clear evidence await your perusal. Perhaps you might believe me if I told you I have it on good authority from anonymous sources within intelligence agencies.

6. How much are you willing to risk on this narrative? You’ve already allowed horrible think tanks to decide who can and cannot have access to social media. You have allowed Google to manipulate algorithms in order to skew search results in order to favor establishment (read corporate) media. You have allowed the military industrial complex to run wild and call the shots, you have breathed new life into the spokespersons of the Iraq War. You have allowed the established practices of journalism to be trashed. You have sat on the sidelines for the last two years, putting all your faith in an untrustworthy individual with a track record of lying unforgivably on the matter of war. You have allowed Trump to have his way with your country and the world’s environment, and the most you could do was don a pink hat in protest. You are giving a green light to the most dangerous of sociopaths, people like John Bolton and Adam Schiff, people unafraid of driving our nation to the brink of nuclear war. Is your faith in Robert Mueller really so complete? Where does this faith come from?

7. Do you ever stop to think that blaming Russia is a convenient way of ignoring our own problems? It seems that every problem we face as a nation anymore is redirected at Russia. Trump had nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. Very useful. Very delusional.

8. Lastly, is there anything Russia gets blamed for that is so ridiculous you will achieve a moment of clarity? Perhaps the Pokemon Go story did not do the trick, but do you really think Russia is to blame for African-Americans protesting against police brutality? Do you really believe the British people were manipulated into Brexit by Vladimir Putin? Do you really believe the French would not protest their government unless instructed to by Russian oligarchs (why is the word oligarch only ever used to describe Russians, anyway)? In short, is there no point where you stop and realize that there is drool on your lips and madness in your eyes? Will you at any point realize you’re wearing a pink pussy hat and carrying a picture of Putin and Trump kissing and think, “My God, I must look really silly.”

I’m not joking, these questions are asked in all earnestness. There needs to be a limit you can point to for all the questions I have asked, some point where you say “too far”. If you cannot answer them in a way that comes close to satisfying both of us, that appears sane, I fear for our planet.

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