A young reporter rushes into the editor's office.
Reporter: I’ve got a great story, Ed. This one’s got it all. It’s got sex, it’s got kidnapping, it’s got international intrigue. It’s got compelling human drama. Best of all, it’s got really huge names attached to it. It’s got everything you can imagine.
Editor: Calm down, Joe. Let’s approach this carefully. You might be on to something but we need to game plan this. The first question we ask in journalism is “who”. Are there any politicians involved? Even tangentially? They don’t have to be directly involved but we could use a known name in the headlines to get people’s interest.
Reporter: I’ll say it has politicians involved! Not just politicians, actual FREAKING Presidents of the United States.
Editor: Can it be confirmed by anonymous sources from any intelligence agencies?
Reporter: It’s better than that, Ed. Something actually happened. Like there's actually tangible verifiable evidence. Actual witnesses. Real live people. There are pictures. of the current president. Standing next to an actual international sex trafficker. And flight logs showing a former president actually flew on the sex trafficker’s private plane! Dozens of times!
Editor: Any connection to Putin?
Reporter: Well, no…But even better! We’ve got a member of the Royal Family involved in this. You know how people love any scandal involving the Royal Family. This is going to be crazy huge!
Editor: This member of the Royal Family, has he been to Russia in the last few years?
Reporter: Uh…I don’t know. Anyway, forget about him for now. This sex trafficker, he’s got ties to Bill Gates. Bill Freaking Gates!
Editor: I don’t know, Joe. I’ve got to go with my gut on this one and I’m not feeling any heat about this story. I want you to follow up on the Russian spy porpoises story. Any new leads on that?
Reporter: Nobody cares about the Russian spy porpoise story, Ed. People thought it was stupid. I was embarrassed to have my name attached to it. Besides, only Democratic voters cared about it at all. This story about the international sex trafficker, now, EVERYBODY will want to know about this. Doesn’t matter if you’re a Republican or a Democrat or third party. It doesn’t matter if you’re not even into politics. And the best part, Ed, the best part is that nobody else is covering it. We’ve got this scoop all to ourselves. All we have to do is a little digging.
Editor: Sorry, I just don’t think the public is interested in tawdry stories like this. Our readers are too sophisticated to get pulled into something so lurid. Anything breaking on the possible existence of videos of Russian prostitutes peeing on Trump?
Reporter: Ed, there’s been nothing new on that story in the last four years. There never was any evidence, it was just rumor. But it’s indisputable that something really happened with this story. All we have to do is a little digging and we are certain to find gold.
Editor: Sounds a little too “dog bites man” to me.
Reporter: Are you kidding me?
Editor: Trust me, I’ve been in the news business for twenty years. I’ve seen this kind of story come across my desk every few months.
Reporter: No, you haven’t. And I’m not going back to the last assignment you gave me about Russian agents sowing discord on Instagram by promoting sex toys. I’m telling you, this story has legs and it’s going to be huge. We’ve got to run with it.
Editor: I don’t know, maybe you’re seeing something I’m not. Is there an angle I’m missing here?
Reporter: I didn’t even have a chance to tell you the really crazy part. This international billionaire sex trafficker who’s tied to hugely rich and influential people? He seemingly was allowed to kill himself before the truth could come out. It’s like Ruby killing Oswald except the cameras weren’t working this time.
Editor: You say he killed himself?
Reporter: Allegedly.
Editor: But there wasn’t any video of him doing it, like with Trump and the Russian prostitutes?
Reporter: I don’t think there’s any video of that either. But there was supposed to be two video cameras monitoring his cell and neither one was working.
Editor: Any of the guards see anything?
Reporter: The guards were negligent and didn’t check on the prisoner like they were supposed to.
Editor: Wait a minute…I think I see an angle, a way we could make this a story worth reporting on.
Reporter: You let me know boss, and I’ll start digging into it.
Editor: Right. Okay, got it. I want you to see how independent journalists and people on social media are covering this and we can do a story about how quick conspiracy theories start.
Reporter: Right away boss! Wait…What?!
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