Republicans Are Sadists, Democrats Are Masochists*

*And some, I assume, are good people.

My observations of Republicans and Democrats over the past couple of years has led me to the conclusion that Republicans are sadists, and Democrats are masochists. The signs are there both in their individual characteristics and in their relationship to each other. They may act as though they were the polar opposite of the other. They may claim they are enemies of the other, but all too often you find them getting chummy together in really creepy ways at after-hour events. In fact, not only do they have a really unhealthy relationship with each other, they each depend on the other to complete themselves. As cruel as a sadist can be, he is inevitably dependent on the masochist to reaffirm his identity. And as meek as the masochist plays his role, there is the element of the sadist about him. Neither is capable of or interested in healthy relationships between equals. In the end, both can only view relationships in terms of power. You don’t want to live next door to a sado-masochistic couple: in fact, there’s currently nowhere safe from them on this planet.

The sadistic tendencies of Republicans are easy enough to spot. Anyone with internet access observes the Trump supporters speaking of Democrats the way a grade school bully would towards someone he has in his sights. Although the average Trump supporter is not the actual bully but the guy who hangs around him in order to get in his good graces. Sadists are quick to become toadies in the presence of a greater sadist. Such is the complicated interrelation between sadism and masochism. Both sadism and masochism are coping techniques learned at a young age. Sadism and masochism are two sides of the same coin, two different ways of dealing with relationships built on power rather than mutual respect and cooperation.

Democrats, like a woman in an abusive relationship, abhor who Republicans are, and yet reflect wistfully about who they were. They may tell others how they wish to get the upper hand in the relationship, but anyone who knows anything about their history knows it is never going to happen. And should a third-party arrive on the scene, the masochist will reveal his inner sadist and fight tooth and nail for his right to be abused and debased by Republicans. The masochist relies on the sadist to give definition to his life. When asked, masochists will be unable to tell you who they are except in relationship to the sadist who gives their lives meaning. This is how fascism begins, by giving sadists willing partners in their sick and twisted perversions. Sadists will come to believe that other people appreciate their sadism, because they have encountered people who actually do. The cruelty and narcissism of the sadist is given legitimacy by the behavior of the masochist.

Democrats’ willingness to submit shows not only in their relationship to Republicans but to the world around them. They are the first to bow to the “inevitable”, thinking themselves quite wise in taking less than they have a right to. They call this being “realistic”. Masochists never imagine shaping the world, merely adjusting to it. Masochists shape themselves to conform to the world the sadist creates. Like a long-suffering spouse, they have learned to take a back seat, to accept what cannot be changed, to resign themselves (bringing along with them  the children/citizens) to a life of suffering. They see a certain nobility in suffering. Sure, they also see the injustice in the suffering, but they are able to offer nothing to those who suffer but their sympathy. “I am on your side,” the masochist says. “I feel your pain,” he says, but does nothing. In the end, the masochist can do nothing, he simply appeals to a greater power, the sadist.

There is a certain passive resistance the masochist displays. The masochist will become quite shrill and adamant on the most bizarre and inconsequential of issues, staking out territory in which he is the absolute authority. Never does it threaten the dominance of the sadist, but through the sheer whining and inconvenience of it all, the sadist will throw scraps to the masochist. By pandering to the neuroses of the masochist, the sadist pays his tithe. It is at such moments that the masochist feels most valued and valuable. He will feel a certain sense of self-worth because he has garnered acknowledgement from his master. But the masochist always stops short of demanding anything more than token change. The masochist does not ask for more because he does not want more. He doesn’t want equality, merely the occasional realization by the other that this unhealthy relationship is essential to both parties.

Observe how the masochists relate to the sadist, Donald Trump. Incapable of exercising any power themselves, at least in a healthy manner, they appeal to other sources of authority. Helpless in themselves, they patiently wait for their savior, Robert Mueller, to come to their rescue. They are the fair maiden locked in the high tower, awaiting a gallant knight to rescue them. It is a script that could have been written by E. L. James. Or Donald Trump.

They are utterly incapable of imagining that they themselves hold any power in this relationship, can conceive of no way of resisting other than wearing pink hats. They dream fanciful dreams of a giant blue wave sweeping away all the bad things, while they survive God’s judgment on an ark built of tolerance and good vibes.

I have great pity for the victims of the violent and the cruel. Sometimes the pity wells up in me so deeply that it paralyzes me. But I recognize that paralysis is a weakness and not just a sign of my heart being in the right place. It is okay to feel sad, but it is not all right to feel helpless, because that is exactly what sadists want you to feel. Democrats are so utterly masochists that they cannot even stand up to other masochists. They are being picked on by the likes of Chuck Schumer, and Nancy Pelosi is stealing their lunch money. Democrats can’t even stand up to these would-be bullies, and yet they envision themselves as guardians against the likes of a new Hitler. Masochists are prone to such wild flights of fantasy. It helps them endure the unpleasant reality they have no desire to confront.

Sadists need masochists. They relish their impotent squeals, are nourished by their tears. A sadist shrivels away to nothing if he cannot find someone else to indulge in his fantasies of power. Because just like the masochist having an element of the sadist in him, the sadist has an immense fear of power in his innermost being. What spurs an individual on into sadistic impulses is his desire to flee from an essential fear of his helplessness. In demonstrating his power over others, he keeps at bay the truth that he is a vulnerable soul in a vast universe that does not exist solely for him. The sadist is kept strong by those who would accept his own view of himself. Masochists do not, cannot, oppose sadists. They can only feed them.

A sadist kicks down a sandcastle another has built. A healthy individual will find a way to show others on the beach that it is better to create than destroy, and in so doing marginalize the sadist and force him to moderate his sadistic tendencies. We call such people helpers and teachers. A sadist will remove the solar panels another has built when he takes over his place of residence. A healthy person will explain why they were important, and will put up twice as many as soon as he moves into that house. We call such people leaders.

There is only one thing sadists care about, and that is power. Same for masochists. A sadist gains his strength by knowing not only the weakness of the masochist but the fact that deep in his heart the masochist wishes he could be like him. The sadist sees beyond the sweet ideals the masochist prattles on about and sees the inner sadist too timid to emerge. A sadist will never truly see the sadism that exists within himself, but he will see it in you. And if he sees it in those who say they are the opposite of the sadist, the sadist will only see the hypocrisy. He will only see confirmation of his sadistic impulses.

Let me tell you what happens when a sadist and a masochist do battle: the sadist wins. Oh, sure, the masochist will summon up his inner sadist, because all masochists have an inner sadist. But he will lose because he’s really a masochist. And sadists beat masochists every time, just like rock beats scissors. Just like Republicans beat Democrats.

Democrats make excuses for such losses, of course, just as the make promises that they will be your triumphant warrior who will beat back your enemy if you only believe in them enough. These are the stories masochists need to tell themselves—and others—in order to face each new day. They are adolescent fantasies, but if they speak them often enough they will win supporters. Because they’re superficially charming, loveable losers you want to believe some day will find a way to stand up for themselves. You don’t want to look past their explanation to see the incredibly fucked-up people they are on the inside, don’t want to believe they could engage in bootlicking and disgusting displays of self-degradation at the feet of the powerful.

To support such masochists is a step even beyond being a masochist, because at least the masochist bows before legitimate power. Buying into the stories of the masochists just involves you in their dysfunction, it’s like a support group for masochists who don’t want to change but instead want to blame others for their problems. If you cannot stand up to the likes of a Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, or Diane Feinstein, what hope do you think you will ever have at standing up to fascism? No, you will bow before such a power before you ever oppose it. Even now you do not oppose real power but instead choose to punch down on those below you. You attack Susan Sarandon, you attack Ralph Nader, you attack the lower middle-class and the uneducated. These are the kinds of sadistic acts a masochist indulges in.

“Oh yeah?” you may ask. “Tell us then, Mr. Smarty Pants. What’s the magical answer? What can we do to stand up to the sadists? Show us a better course than the cautious approach of voting for ineffectual wet noodles who lack courage to take on our enemies. Tell us how we can succeed without exhibiting any courage or taking any risk.”

Spoken like a true masochist afraid of confronting his master. Spoken like someone so badly beaten down that he prefers the comfort of his servitude than the freedom that is his birthright. No, I will not tell you what to do, because you are not willing to listen. I can only point you to the stories of those who did not fear to oppose the sadists. I will tell you to learn more about the likes of Martin Luther King, about Mother Jones and Eugene Debs. I will ask you to Google people like Fanny Sellins and Dorothy Day, Granny D, and Jim Zwarg. I can only show you what moral courage looks like and hope it inspires in you some kind of self-respect. There are millions of examples of people who stood tall and risked all in the fight against the sadists who wanted to rule over humanity. Study them if you dare, learn from them and emulate them. You will find answers when you want answers.