Voting Is A Cheap, Tawdry Affair

A great blue wave crashed upon the shores of America last night, leaving in its wake nothing but the tired and lusterless pearl that is Nancy Pelosi. Like a bad penny, you just can’t seem to get away from it.

So this is what it has come to, this is the sum total of all the last two years’ violent passion. All the Sturm Und Drang, the loud wailing and pussy hat wearing has resulted in this. Pay Go and a promise to investigate Donald Trump’s taxes. A bit of an anti-climax.

Was it good for you, too? Have we saved the environment yet? What is our next step in preventing climate catastrophe, nuclear war, and authoritarian government? Like you, I’m too spent from the moment to contemplate right now. How about a cigarette and a long sleep. When we’ve awoken in the morning, we can start contemplating choosing electable candidates for the 2020 election.

The problem with the kind of lifestyle we’ve chosen is we wake up to find Dianne Feinstein in bed next to us. My God, what were we thinking? How lonely and insecure must we have been, how intoxicated with rage at the other party to engage in such sleezy behavior? But as they say, politics makes for strange (and regrettable) bedfellows.

Let me ask you a question, and be honest with me. Does it leave you feeling cheap and empty inside? Was the whole elaborate dance with the strumpet we call the Democratic Party worth this? Do you really feel loved? Was there any genuine connection between the two of you or was it all about the voting? Because you know deep in your heart that that was all that mattered to her. Last night she was willing to say anything to get you to vote, but when you wake up in the morning, she’ll be gone, without so much as a note on the pillow.

And you know where she’s gone, don’t you? She’s already whoring around with her oily sugar daddies, taking money for tricks. Engaging in the most debased of behavior, all for the money they toss her way. Oh sure, she always acts like they are worst of enemies, but they play footsies under the table as they make faces at each other above it. Most likely, they’re laughing at what a sucker you are at this moment. And you won’t see her again until the next time she needs you. 

But you’ll take her back again, won’t you? You’ve really got to work on your self-esteem issues.

But at some point, don’t you want someone who really cares for you? Don’t you want someone who will tell you the truth even when seductive lies are a lot sexier? Wouldn’t it feel good to have someone who has proven themselves true to you time and again? Someone who doesn’t try to manipulate you? Don’t say you’re not good enough, don’t ever say that about yourself. That’s her speaking, she’s taken all the fight out of you, reduced your ego to a shriveled pea. That’s what a bad woman will do to you.

It’s time you settled down and left your indiscreet and immature ways behind you, you’re too old for that sort of nonsense. As one who’s never walked very far down the road of meaningless hookups, let me tell you how good it feels to have self-respect. Even being alone is better than meaningless voting with a lying harlot. You're going to get some incurable disease if you keep that up, and you will have to explain it to your children. And there is someone better for you out there, you have to believe it. You just have to start working on building healthy relationships if you're ever going to get what you deserve.

You don’t love her, you can’t love her. And if you don’t love her, it’s time to walk away. Admit it, when you were doing the nasty, marking your ballot, you had your eyes closed and were thinking of Bernie, weren’t you?