Liberals

I want my first observation of liberals to be this: liberals have wonderful senses of humor and are not only able to laugh at themselves but reflect upon the well-intentioned observations of friends. And now:

Liberals contribute to NPR so the Waltons and Koch brothers don’t have to shoulder the entire burden themselves.

Liberals oppose war but know that something has to be done in this case.

Liberals make a point of recycling their plastic water bottles.

Liberals are quite discerning in who they vote for and never settle for anything but the lesser of two evils.

Liberals call Bono “Sir”.

Liberals have Amazon Prime and a subscription to The Washington Post and worry that billionaires like Jeff Bezos have too much money and influence.

Liberals know Trump blames foreigners like Mexicans and Muslims for America’s problems, and are certain Russians are behind it.

Liberals proudly share on social media that they are reading old books from the banned books list while demanding that “unofficial” news sources are censored on social media.

Liberals won’t let their children hear any speech by Martin Luther King that has the word “negro” in it.

A liberal permits their children to choose their own gender and dresses them in clothes made by children working in sweatshops.

Liberals get their news from millionaires who work for billionaires.

A liberal will skip brunch to attend a protest…once.

A liberal drives an SUV with a bumper sticker that says “We Support Our Troops”.

Liberals know the only way to save the planet from short-term climate catastrophe is through incremental change.

Liberals know the only way to take on corporate control of our society is by voting for candidates who take corporate money.

A liberal wants greater social and economic justice and is willing to dedicate an hour out of their lives every two years to vote for it.

A liberal won’t vote for corporate warmongers unless they are people of color, women, gay, or Joe Biden.

A liberal knows that the only way to beat Republicans is to steal their ideas and become as much like them as possible.