When it comes to war, our response is almost always emotional rather
than rational. Mostly it is fear, but there are even worse emotions that can be
triggered: hatred, pride, misplaced loyalty, feelings of inadequacy that lead
to meek obedience to sadists. We are never masters of ourselves when we permit
our emotions to lead us.
I’ve experienced it myself. Everyone who’s been alive for the last few
decades has experienced it. It is hard, perhaps impossible, to avoid extreme
emotions when it comes to war and the chaos and destruction that comes with it.
It is easy to surrender to the authority of those who are willing to tell us
what to do. It’s so much easier to feel than it is to remain calm and think.
As hard as it was on September 11, 2001, the emotions that accompany
war have become even more draining in the ensuing years. Human beings are
designed to deal with crises, but we are not designed to deal with long-term
stress and emotional dissonance. Humans do not wear well when subjected to extended
periods of anxiety.
The last three years have been especially hard for me. 2 years ago, we
were looking at a potential super power conflict erupting over the war in
Syria. Last year, I was watching the attempted coup in Venezuela, which hit me
especially hard because my son and daughter-in-law were living there and
experiencing it firsthand. Finally, this year, when tensions and bad behavior increased between
the U.S. and Iran to the point where all bets are off in terms of where it will
lead. You cannot have a healthy nation when those who rule not only engage in such
unhealthy behavior but subject those who are ruled to constant emotionally
loaded propaganda
Those who oppose war against countries that are not directly involved
in attacks on U.S. soil—and I suspect that is the majority of us—are affected
most profoundly by the emotional impact of war. It is we who feel the fear not
only of war itself but the fear of those who aim their hatred and threats
against those who are not easily caught up in the propaganda and jingoism that
accompany war. Too often, we remain silent as others who are overcome with the
hysteria of impending war tell us we are betraying our own country for daring
to react in rational rather than emotional ways. Every question we ask, every
caution we suggest, is perceived as Anti-American. And so, overcome by not only
our own emotional impulses but by the out of control emotional reactions of
others, we remain silent, phrase our questions timidly, keep our heads
down. We choke our emotions down and let them rot at our guts.
No more. This last episode with the assassination of an Iraqi general
has made it clear to me I can no longer physically tolerate being led by the
gaslighting intelligence agencies, media, and politicians.
I’m done.
I’m not going to waste another large chunk of my short time on earth being fearful. And I’m not going to spend the rest of my life silenced.
I’ve given those who have tried to silence me and control me nearly 20 years of
my life. They have only proven that I should have heeded my own instincts in
the first place and ignored their bullying.
We all have to keep our lips zipped during times
of war, we all have to cease from questioning those who lead us while the lives
of our soldiers are on the line. Well, guess what? It’s been 20 years now and there
is no end of war in sight. Am I supposed to shut up for the rest of my life and
live in the fear that results from being forced to behave in a way not of my
choosing?
It aint happening. Not anymore. I’ve spent most
of my life self-censoring and going along with those who insisted they were
right when I always knew they were wrong.
I’m not afraid anymore. The burden of fear has
become greater than anything I’ve feared. What are you going to do to me, put me
in jail? I would feel freer speaking my mind in prison than living in a prison
of fear of my own design.
I want to live joyfully, and with love. We all
do. This cannot be done in a nation that is perpetually at war. Therefore, it
is the task of our politicians and those who direct our foreign policy to find
healthy alternatives to war. No successful leader leads us into war. War is
failure. Perpetual war is perpetual failure. Blaming others and telling those you
lead to shut up are the actions of failures and bullies.
There are adults now living who have never been free of war censorship
and the fear that accompanies war. There are adults in this country right now
who have no real appreciation of what it means to be free. They are free only
to play in the cage our political and economic leaders have designed, where
they are permitted to compete against each other for pieces of papers or
numbers on a screen. We are all free to chase our economic interests so long as
we refrain from questioning the war machine. We are free so long as we do not demand
democracy or truth or a sustainable planet. That is the freedom of the gladiator.
Of course they say I must be quiet because they are fighting for my
freedom. What freedom? Your wars mean that I have to keep quiet and fearful and
walk around with my head down. I am only permitted to speak up when I speak in
support of your wars. Well you don’t have to worry about fighting for my
freedom anymore, because I’m going to fight for my own freedom. I’m sure I’ll
do a better job at it than you ever have. You failed.
You know what you call a government that subjects its citizens to unending
war? A failed state. A complete and utter failure. God, it feels good to say it
like it is instead of looking over my shoulder and fearing the judgment
authority imposes. Freedom rocks. It feels way better than what the propaganda
machine has been handing me.
20 years of war has not given me my freedom. I have taken freedom for
myself. I shall guard it jealously and never again place my freedom in the
hands of others who feel the need to use force in order to get what they want.
I am free at last from those who claim to be fighting for my freedom. I guess
freedom isn’t something authority can give you, it’s something you have to tear
from authority’s hands.
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