Where's My Cut Of The Children's Detention Profits?

I have to admit, I have a problem with the way the Trump administration is handling the children of immigrants. Private corporations are charging $775 dollars a day to house just one child. It seems to me this is another outrageous example of crony capitalism. Allow the free market to work it’s magic, and the price to taxpayers will go way down. Let everybody place their bid and cut the small businessman in on the action, rather than letting President Trump’s buddies make all the money.

As for myself, I’ve been crunching numbers and I’m pretty sure I could do the job for $500 per child per day. It’s not like I have a big basement or anything, but I think I could shove a dozen or more of the little tykes down there, which would be a real boon to my personal income. And what helps me will be sure to trickle down into the local economy. It's not me I'm thinking of, you understand, it's my local shopkeeper, barber, masseuse. 

My wife usually comes home for lunch, so she could check on the little immies during the day to make sure they’re okay. And seeing how she works for a dentist, I’m sure she could snag a few toothbrushes and toothpaste from the office, so we’d be one up on the people doing the job now. And my wife only works a few blocks from home, so it’s not like we wouldn’t be able to respond to any emergency or attempted escape.

I’m sure there’d be some initial outlay, after all we’d need to pick up some steel fencing and some kind of surveillance system so we’d know what was going on while we were away. In order to make sure we'd recoup our investment, we'd  have to make some kind of agreement with the government to make sure we had a steady supply of immigrant children. That shouldn’t be a problem because the government already signs agreements with for-profit prisons to ensure that they’ll be booked solid. Investors have to protect against risk, after all.

I do have to say Donald Trump has let me down on this issue. I really thought he’d be looking out for the small businessman. This could be a golden moment for small-scale entrepreneurs to shine. 

Innovation takes place at the micro level, small business is the driver of the economy. This could be the cottage industry that could breath new life into the middle class. A friend of mine has shared with me images of her proposed child immigration holding pens she sent along with her bid to the White House: 

Hell, she was even planning on giving them real blankets, not that aluminum crap. Alas, they were rejected in favor of this:

Now tell me, which do you think is more humane? I think my friend’s plan looks downright homey in comparison. I've stayed in many an airbnb that was far less accommodating

I'm beginning to think the interests of the dis-empowered are not being fairly represented on this issue. The poor, beleaguered, hardworking small businessmen are once again being given short shrift. It's sad to say, but it appears Trump has forgotten where he came from, that success has caused him to forget what it was like to struggle to evict a single elderly woman from her home in order to build a casino. You've gone Washington on us, Donald.

Or perhaps, perhaps  Donald Trump is not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.